My dearest friend Katlyn was passing by today and we sat for a while having a conversation about her current relationship and the troubles that come with it. Katlyn has been in this relationship for more than five years and it seems to me that things are only getting worst instead of better.I'm not in her position to judge her but I'm sure to tell her how I feel. Due to me feeling like a failure as a friend I decided to some research for her on physical and verbal abuse in relationships . I stumbled upon some of the reasons why women stay in abusive relationships which are confusion, shame, fear, embarrassment, self-blame, need to protect abuser, she denies the reality that the man she loves is capable of seriously hurting or killing her, she lives in false hope, she is blamed for causing or not leaving her predicament, but abandoned when she actually leaves, she is ignorant of the facts and consequences of domestic violence.
I believe that my gf is experiencing all of the above reasons which is why she isn't leaving and god alone knows how much I wish I could help her but she keeps going back. I'm a true friend and I will stay by her side and keep on drilling in her head that it's not worth her happiness and pray to god that he shows her the way cause my heart hurts dearly to see her go through this.
In the interim I'd truly appreciate any words of wisdom you my faithful followers have to offer that I can pass on to her. I will continue to be optimistic and hope that she will be set free from this relationship one day and realize that she is an amazingly beautiful, intelligent ad exquisite kind of woman and that a man would be lucky to have her by his side. May my prayers be answered...jus saying
wow, this one got pretty serious there. I don't know, maybe it's cuz i've never seen this kina situation up close and what not, but i just can't imagine how anyone would allow themselves to be trapped in that situation.
ReplyDeletei do understand its hard as a friend to know how far to go when stepping in and intervening, but i'd imagine in a situation like this one would have to go pretty far to deal with and get rid of (out of the other persons life..i not playin dexter here) the abusive person. police/restraining order/group of burly gentlemen+women with powers of severe intimidation?
It's like Rhianna's song "We found love". Don't like her but this situation mimicks the song. Unfortunately for her she really found love in a hopeless place. That's one of the toughest situations to get out of but she has to find the strength to get up and go and not look back. Leave the past in the past and move on. police restraining orders don't work in Trinidad. The severe intimidation may work because I had some cousins who used intimidation to straighten out a certain gentleman and it worked. So hey!! Just to intimidate though not beat up or anything. Those who abuse usually have low self esteems or childhood issues. It's just all sad though.
ReplyDeleteThat's a really awful situation Browngirl. I truly feel for Katlyn, and hope she can find her way. Abusive relationships are just messed up. While there's probably some messed up things that lead to this, a big concern I think is what may come out of it. When and how does it stop? Abuse is often perpetuated in a cycle, and if Katlyn isn't strong enough, she may end up becoming an abuser. If she has kids with this asshole, they may have a really hard time.
ReplyDeleteBlayne I understand what you're saying but her problem is that she'll put a restraining order and then go back to him...can love be that strong that you become stupid?
ReplyDeleteJells I get you. Maybe some therapy and self esteem boosting may work...
ReplyDeleteLazytrini...i'm praying the kids doesn't happen either....I'll continue praying!!
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