He loves me...he loves me not...

I think I'm gonna study psychology and become a therapist and charge $300.00 an hour cause people feel comfortable talking to me and seem to enjoy my advice :). On a serious note though I want to get down to the nitty gritty of this post..verbal and physical abuse in relationships and at this point I feel as though my therapy skills needs to be refreshed.

My dearest friend Katlyn was passing by today and we sat for a while having a conversation about her current relationship and the troubles that come with it. Katlyn has been in this relationship for more than five years and it seems to me that things are only getting worst instead of better.

When do we decide in an abusive relationship that enough is enough? I've heard stories from her about being verbally abused, restricted from going home, cheated on, lied to, hurt beyond words and now physically which wasn't the first but could be seen by people around her. Seeing tears roll down her face the last time we went through her relationship battles brought tears to my own eyes whilst listening to her explain in a sobbing tone. I've tried to reason with her that she's worth much more and that life will not end without him by her side and somewhere in her I eyes I see that she wants to believe what I'm saying and she wants to move on  matter how much she tries to let go something is holding her back.

I'm not in her position to judge her but I'm sure to tell her how I feel. Due to me feeling like a failure as a friend I decided to some research for her on physical and verbal abuse in relationships . I stumbled upon some of the reasons why women stay in abusive relationships which are confusion, shame, fear, embarrassment, self-blame, need to protect abuser, she denies the reality that the man she loves is capable of seriously hurting or killing her, she lives in false hope, she is blamed for causing or not leaving her predicament, but abandoned when she actually leaves,  she is ignorant of the facts and consequences of domestic violence.

I believe that my gf is experiencing all of the above reasons which is why she isn't leaving and god alone knows how much I wish I could help her but she keeps going back. I'm a true friend and I will stay by her side and keep on drilling in her head that it's not worth her happiness and pray to god that he shows her the way cause my heart hurts dearly to see her go through this.

In the interim I'd truly appreciate any words of wisdom you my faithful followers have to offer that I can pass on to her. I will continue to be optimistic and hope that she will be set free from this relationship one day and realize that she is an amazingly beautiful, intelligent ad exquisite kind of woman and that a man would be lucky to have her by his side. May my prayers be answered...jus saying

Glowing isn't an option!!

I've noticed lately that pregnancy seem to be in style...Big and round, small and low, medium sized and high shaped bellies. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing and women are blessed creatures of the earth to be able to bring a living being into the world (with the help of the male species :P).

I'm hoping that you all should know by now that I'm not gonna talk about any cutie pie babies or child birth although that can be an interesting topic of conversation for my next post. But my purpose today is the get this once point out there to my mummies...PREGNANCY IS NOT A SICKNESS!!!

Ladies, ladies, ladies...why is it so hard to keep up yourself when you become pregnant. Pregnancy is not an excuse to look all raggedy and tired. Granted that you are tired and have your bad days but not all nine months should be like this.

I've seen some pregnant women...and hear me....their toes crusty, their feet ashy, no make up, hair greasy, bagging eyes, big clothes but not maternity clothes and I instantly get upset..Now don't get me wrong peeps, not all pregnant women do this. Some actually keep themselves looking fabulous. So hear what, I'm gonna help the pregnant ladies out there ad give you all a looking good during pregnancy week by week calendar which I'm sure wuill be much appreciated.

You all may think I'm being unfair but all I'm saying is a small coat on the toes...some powder, mascara and gloss, a nice pony tale or hair cuts along with some fresh perfume and maternity clothes is not gonna kill anyone. Pregnancy is supposed to be a joyful time in a woman's life and I think even though they have the bad times they should try their utmost best to not look it and glow!! I get a strange feeling I might get bashed for this post but that's the purpose of my blog, conversation. So this is where you tell me my loyal followers, what's your view on my topic and do you agree or disagree with me? I don't have any kids but I am not going to say that I will always look by best whilst pregnant, I'm saying I'm gonna be looking fly during my pregnancy as much as I can...jus saying!!!

I'm real...

Friends....What's that? When you call someone a friend what does that mean to you? Is it is someone you go to the movies with or to the beach? You live cry and laugh with a little? I've see many of my colleagues hurt because of broken friendships and I sat listening to them pour out their souls. Hurt, pain, sorrow, disappointment all in one because your "friend" betrayed you.

Granted we are all human beings and are bound to have feelings and get hurt but isn't a friendship with someone part of that balance in your life that helps you hold it all together?

My gf Sonya came to me with a situation and I sat attentively listening to her story. She's had a "best friend" for approximately four years but yet she had to be selective with the info she shared with her friend...let's call her Gina. Gina could have shared anything with Sonya and wasn't judged. This wasn't a fair friendship from what I gathered Gina seemed to be a self centred selfish individual but Sonya accepted her for who she was and loved her as she was. Sonya purposely didn't tell Gina certain things cause Gina's reaction was very predictable. Gina is the kind of person who if she found out something she would keep it to herself and dwell on it without giving Sonya a reason why she was upset which in this case was what had happened.

I gave Sonya the advice I would have given myself...Friendship is much more that the laughing, giggling, movies and beach. It's about knowing that you can be yourself without being judged. Feeling comfortable about sharing information and getting advice. About trust, reliability, love, caring, and not being selfish. It's about listening on the phone even when it's 2.30am and you're sleeping away on yourself whilst your friend babble away about a situation and she doesn't get a hint of you being a tad annoyed cause she woke you up but instead you're more concerned than annoyed. It's about knowing that person has your back and respects you and your qualities and will try to make you a better person and vice versa.

Friends might come and go in your life, they might make you laugh and cry, but most importantly of all they love you for who you are. It doesn't matter what a person looks like or what kind of clothes they wear, but it's what's on the inside that counts. It's the actions they take, no matter how big or small, to show you how much of a good friend they are, and being there for you no matter what, even when  things are incredibly important!

Friends come and go but you live and learn from it...She stared at me and I thought I served my purpose as being a good friend. You pick up the pieces and move on...Now I may have left out a few things so you all can help me with the rest and let me know what you think "a friend" should be. I'm sure we'll all get some insight on this post and Sonya will defo appreciate it..just saying.

P.S I don't always remember birthdays *covers eyes* we're not all perfect..check out "what's a friend".

Belly Buss....

I sat on my bed on Sunday morning wondering...what to cook boi??? Messaging my usual friend who helps me with my menus, we came up with shepards pie and green salad which was a hit! Mind you I cooked that pie with plenty love and meat eh and my salad had small surprises of apples in it and I made a big jug of lime juice not to mention jello for dessert.. NO! You all can't pass by me next Sunday.. :P
Anywho..I got to thinking about putting together menus for the following weeks on my BB notes as to make it easier for me so next weeks dish is already planned out. Calalloo, pasta stuffed with meat and cheese, salad, pineapple juice and some custard for dessert! BOOM!!! (Ya'll still not invited). I continued along with my list and got up to about 11 and then I was like...wait na...I should blog about this!! :D

Trini foods....What exactly is my favourite Trini food. Well i don't eat crab and not because I'm allergic to it but because I can't seem to think of putting those legs towards my mouth...It grosses me out entirely. Doubles?? Hmmm I only eat doubles from one or two people and I must have it in front d doubles stand, no wrapped up drama...I like getting my fingers messy! However, I only eat  two max...lol!! Moving along pelau..yum. I've mastered how to make pelau until I ain't want to see pelau. My co worker was saying to me the other day "I like pelau yanno but the only thing is that I have to eat it for four days after that"! I couldn't stop laughing..cause it's true..I could add a good few more dishes eh..Dhal and rice and curry chicken/ duck, roti, macaroni pie, souse, cow heel soup to name a few.

I then realized that..I do not have a favourite Trini dish...lol...I just love food! "No ah not greedy eh"...*Shame* but I don't mind trying or cooking any type of food once...Yes i've tried d crab and I still don't like it :P

So tell me my lovely followers...What's your favourite Trini dish or what dish would you consider *Trini*...wait...I feel mine is roti...na..potato pie...or is doubles...steupsss I dunno na..But like it's not me alone stressing cause vendor rilvalry is halarious! Jus saying...

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Snarl!!!!

Yay!!!! I'm happy...no wait wait I think I'm feeling a bit quiet now. Actually,don't speak to me please until I tell you to cause I'm gravitating to bitch mode.SNARL!!! Ok I'm fine now...twas a small case of PMS...*shame*

What is PMS? We all hear women way "I have PMS", but is this a legitimate disorder or an excuse? PMS stands for premenstrual syndrome. It affects 20 to 90 percent of all women who menstruate.

I had the worst PMS last week that I've ever had in ages....When I tell you.I was angry, sad, depressed, irritable and I felt as though everything was wrong and it also seemed to me that the whole office and all my friends were on the same cycle...Dam hormones!!

I remember in my last job my department consisted of three males and myself. Poor fellas...they actually kept a calender marked off with red marker for my PMS days so that they'd know not to annoy me even though everything annoyed me at that point. There were times I would be sitting doing work and tears would be rolling down my cheeks and my co workers would come over concerned asking what was wrong and I shrugged saying.."I dunno...I'm just feeling to cry". LOL!!!!

God alone knows how they managed to get used to my random mood swings but they did and I somehow found control over it to some extent. I've heard a good few remedies for PMS would be exercising, evening primrose, sex...lol ya sex...

Ladies...help me out here and lemme know what are your symptoms and what else can be used for PMS cause lord alone knows I don't mind knowing. Men, on behalf of the ladies...We reallll sorry (HUGS). Feel free to vent and let us know how you all feel during this "period" and how you all can help us help you get through it...Oh and guys..you all PMS too eh!! Jus saying...

Catching butterflies...

I sat by my desk having lunch whilst my co worker and I had a conversation about his six year old son. He went on to tell me that his son went out to play a game of cricket on Saturday morning, thirty minutes, later he returned with his friends to come inside to play Xbox 360. When my co worker told me this my heart dropped, 'cause I know what I did as a child and there were video games, but those weren't as important as they are now.
I remember playing marble pitch with my neighbour...yep, I was a lil tomboy..lol. Making flour kites from my copy book pages and stealing the cocoyea broom stick from my great-grandmom's broom (level licks when she found her broom slack and my back page from my copy book falling out). I used to climb the plum tree and sit on it eating plum and reading a book, roller blading, playing cricket or catch, red light green light one-two-three-stop, Simon Says, cabbage, riding bike, taking the baby robin out of it's nest and feeding it boiled rice and then found it dead the next day (Elmyra much).

This one time I found a shower curtain in the back room and thought it was old and decided to spread it on the lawn, throw some soap on it and skate on it with my neighbour..well hear nah...more licks. Bow and arrow tied with thread with the same cocoyea broom stick (no, I didn't learn) and ran around the house playing Buffy the vampire slayer with my neighbour. Talking about running around the house, I used to fill up my neighbours super soaker with soap water and sprayed the jeps and run for my life. I had loads of swollen eyes. But on Saturdays..that was the best ever! My uncle made a netted butterfly cage and catcher for me. I would spend about 2 hours on Saturday mornings catching them with my net and putting them in the cage, don't worry I let them loose after, that was the deal with my uncle.

I remembered playing Barbies with my aunt until two in the morning and my grandmom screaming at us to go to bed.This one time there was a construction company putting down a foundation but they didn't work on weekends and my cousins and I decided to swim in their tank (yup, the tank they drank water from...that we properly well peed in ..shame).

As I reminisce about some of my childhood days I began to wonder if our kids will ever experience what we experienced. Everyday a new game or gadget is created which eliminates what was once called extra curricular activities in my time. Now it's Xbox, Playstation, internet and every other thing that excludes outdoor activites.

What I want to know from my readers is would you try to encourage your children to go outdoors and play like we did as kids or would you encourage them to to get involved in all the "fancy gadgets".
I for one don't mind incorparating both with a bargain meaning..if you don't get ya tail outside and pitch marbles or play some football then you won't be playing any Xbox or playstation....jus saying.

The cutting edge...

As I sat at my desk minding my own business, my coworker strolled up to me inquiring about a current assignment. At the same time I decided to poke her belly playfully...no, don't get any weird ideas, I just don't go around poking people’s bellies...lol. Jade, along with three other ladies in my office are blessed with baby bumps and coincidentally they're all gonna be having boys.

I continued poking at Jade's belly hoping that I’d get some sort of response from her baby, we got into an interesting conversation which went like this.

Me: "Sooo how are you and your baby?"

Jade: "I'm fine and so is he"

Me: "He! You’re having a boy...yay!"

Jade:  "Yep, myself and the other 2 ladies as well"

Me: "Why does it seem that you're not too excited about a boy?"

Jade: "Well, I kinda started looking at dresses, but it's all good. The other thing though is that my husband wants us to circumcise our son and I'm not too sure about it. Maybe if I was having my child in the US but I don't think I want to have it done here, if at all".

This conversation led me to my topic of choice and decided to Google some info....

I stumbled upon some interesting info on it which led me to question myself since I was considering having my son circumcised (given that I have a boy and whenever that is…:-p) and found the following.

Whether or not to circumcise, the pros and cons include....

 *Cleanliness 

*Avoids infections

*Avoids need to do it later on

*Avoids Bladder infections

*Religious reasons

*Avoiding being teased by women

*Less trouble to take care of

*Leaving nature alone

*Reduces sensation and sexual pleasure

*Protects the glans (head of penis)

*Ethical issues

I just stated the points but you all can check out the details by going on the link I supplied.

Ladies and gentlemen, I want you to tell me your views on this since circumcising your baby has its pros and cons. I’m thinking yes to cleanliness, bacteria, & infections, but who am I to decide when my baby becomes a man that I cheated him of "extra sensation & sexual pleasure" as well as making the choice himself...Jus saying.

Waiting to inhale...

I sat across the table from my gf as she ranted about this boyfriend of hers. Sipping on a glass of medium bodied red wine, I gaped at the cars passing by.
"Are you listening to me?" she said... I stared at her disappointed face, not disappointed with me but about her current "situation."

My dear friend...let's call her Jill was having some personal hygiene problems with her bf of a couple months...Jack.
Now get this, Jack is an extremely attractive bachelor but she couldn't stand the bad breath.
Yes I said it...BAD BREATH!
Jill went on and on about how she made a dentist appointment in a subtle way along with her appointment so that he could have solved the problem but this didn't seem to work.
She got the entire package..new toothpaste, toothbrush, Listerine and even offered him mints or gum at times but she felt to embarrassed to tell him directly.
I tried to tell her that she needed to be straight and tell him but she argued that it would have hurt his feelings.
She went on the telling me of Jacks love for kissing for long periods of time where sometimes she would have to hold her breath. At some point I couldn't help but feel sorry for her since this was slowly but surely breaking her relationship.

Now I ended up doing some research for her which showed the bad breath also known as halitosis can be caused by a number of things such as decayed teeth, general neglect of the teeth, periodontal disease (gum disease), deeply furrowed tongue, sinus infection, tonsillitis, diet, drying of oral tissues,  digestive problems, smoking, systemic diseases, lung or sinus infection. All this information still couldn't convince her to tell him.

Ladies and Gentlemen there's occasional bad breath caused by certain foods and then there’s just long term forever and ever, not happily ever after kind of bad breath...For Jack and Jill I think it's the later.

Given this situation though...How would you all handle this situation?? Maybe your comments would be able to help Jill out...Jus saying

Sunny Days.....

I remember when I was a kid I couldn’t wait to get home from school, buy myself a pink icing kiss cake for $1.75 and a chubby for $1.25 and rush home jump out of my school skirt propped up on the couch in my knickers and school shirt to look at Sesame Street. I probably looked at it until I was 13 and no I’m not one bit ashamed.

 Sesame Street in those days was the shiz!!  Recently I found myself on you tube searching for the old episodes of Sesame Street since it brought some life to my day. I can’t begin to pick a favorite but I do know my sense of humor is really different that the average person and I spent all of five minutes laughing heartily at Kermit the frog reporting Rapunzel and the prince.

I’ve noticed recently though that sesame street is no longer how it used to be back then and it revolved around Elmo. Now I not hating on Elmo eh but dam that red monster irritating.

I looked at my girlfriends who have kids and noticed that Sesame Street is no longer a “must see” educational programme for kids anymore. I sometimes wonder if they even know Sesame Street exists but then again they now have the privilege of having internet, early childhood gadgets and other “fun” learning devices. The alphabet chart has even evolved to animals I never knew existed.

Now peeps do you all think that kids not looking at Sesame Street now has an impact on their lives?? I know I learnt a whole lot but I’m wondering if these new learning devices are just as effective..lemme know your thoughts…

In the interim, I posted one of my favourites (not one of the educational ones, lol!!)…feel free to do the same and let’s have some laughs. You've got to love Sesame Street…Jus saying

Smell it..Smell it..LOVE ME!!

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm about to discuss a somewhat "taboo" topic that I'm positive will muster up a lot of attention so here goes...

Flatulence...for those of you who aren't too sure flatulence, commonly referred to as 'farting', is caused by gas in the bowel :P

According to scientific studies flatulence can be caused by swallowed air, normal digestion, intestinal bacteria, high fibre foods and the common complaints are loud, smelly and excessive flatus. Now ordinarily, the intestines produce between 500 and 2,000mls of gas, which is passed out of the anus at regular intervals.

So the obvious questions are.. Do we fart as often as the scientist say we should??? Is it ok to fart infront of our partners/ husbands?? Why is it that it's ok for men to do it and to women it seems as though it doesn't exist? How long does the "honey moon period last" ?

I know there aint no way I'm doing that in front of my bf/husband unless it happened by mistake. I think some things are better left unheard and unsmelt...

Lemme know your views and check out the link attached for some laughs...

Jus Saying...Browngirl